With nearly 300 million video views in over 160 countries around the globe, Davey Wavey has become one of the leading online voices for the queer community. Since he began shooting videos in 2007, he has become a sex-positive activist, using his life experiences to spread messages of love, acceptance, and humor.
His innate curiosity about love and sex formed the basis of his nearly 10-year career of making videos. Every week, millions of eager fans tune in to hear what he has to say on topics related to the gay male experience.
He wasn’t always this confident talking about sex. A good Catholic boy, his only education about gay sex as a teen came from porn. And like many other young people, he says, he “tried to emulate in the bedroom” what he saw on film. The result? Sex that felt superficial and disconnected.
“Porn is designed to get you off,” Wavey says. “It’s not designed to teach you about pleasure or connection or intimacy. Porn doesn’t teach you how to have good sex. When it comes to gay sex, I think life imitates art. What we do in the bedroom is often a reflection of what we watch on the computer screen. It’s my hope that by serving a different flavor of gay erotica, we can encourage gay men to shift their approach.”
HimEros.tv looks like a porn site by design, but when a viewer digs around they will notice clear differences. First, there’s how it introduces itself: “Most of us learn about gay sex from the porn we watch, but porn isn’t created to teach you about pleasure, connection, or the power of your sexuality. We created Himeros.tv to enhance your experience of sex and sexuality through juicy erotic videos, co-created with a team of sex coaches and talented cinematographers.”
The site also boasts how-to videos and offers performers a “Porn Star Bill of Rights” that guarantees entitlements like consent, fair pay, drug-free environments, and zero-pressure directing.
“In a way, it’s like creating grass-fed porn,” Wavey says. “Happier, supported models create a better product — and that’s something conscious consumers appreciate.”
For example, rather than just focusing on the traditional money shots, Wavey explains, “We worked with a renowned tantric instructor named Ian Ellington to create a how-to video around experiencing full-body orgasms, featuring Blake Mitchell from Helix Studios.” Wavey says, “There are also guided masturbations that explore different stroking techniques or visualization exercises. And then there are hot, juicy videos, featuring sex between men who are embodied and ecstatic.”
Wavey also knows how important it is for young gay men to talk to each other about sex. After all, even he still finds it difficult.
“As someone who grew up Catholic, it’s a journey to replace shame and guilt with unbridled joy,” he says. “It takes time and energy and effort, but it’s been the most exciting and fulfilling journey of my life.” No doubt, Wavey is fully aware that teaching the world about the pleasures of sex, and the joyful experiences of being a gay man, is not only what he’s good at; it’s his calling.
“My talent is being gay. That’s what I’m passionate about, and that’s what I wanted to share with the world,” he says of his past and future career. “As much as I’m creating this content to help and empower my audience, I’m also doing it to help and empower myself. The truth is, I still have so much to learn and discover, and I’m just getting started on this journey.”
Above: Producer Davey Wavey hopes to put the ecstasy back in gay sex.
Rather than having a stationary studio, so far, HimEros.tv has taken to the road, shooting videos in São Paulo, Brazil; Palm Springs, Calif.; Brooklyn, N.Y.; Vermont, North Carolina, and Hawaii. Next on the HimEros.tv list is Toronto, Canada and Provincetown, Mass. “We’re excited to work with gay men around the world to create content that enhances gay men’s experience of sex and sexuality,” Wavey says. “We’re just getting started.”